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  • Writer's picturerganderson915

Cross Country Ski Excuses Pt. 2: Regional

It’s about that time of year - ski racing! I wrote a blog last season about some excuses you can use in case the races don’t go as planned.


I received requests for more excuses - readers had already used many of those listed. Using the same excuses over and over might lower your credibility, so here are some fresh ones - by region.


I dug deep to find excuses that haven't been overused, but are similarly convincing. Enjoy, and remember - a bad race is never your fault.


East

  • Sleet got in my eyes on the downhill

  • I don’t have a freezing rain specific ski

  • I don’t have a hail specific ski

  • I don’t have a 1-inch-of-snow-on-top-of-dirty-forest specific ski

  • I would be better at classic but I respect Bill Koch too much

  • I only have enough klister to cover 12 different snow conditions

  • My college won’t let me take 3 months of travel for ski season

  • I had fake maple syrup for breakfast and became ill

  • I got carsick on the way to the venue


Here's Bowdoin College (coastal Maine) - covered in a nice sheet of ice


Midwest

  • I don’t care about this race, I’m trying to peak for the Minnesota State Meet

  • I don’t care about this race, I’m trying to peak for the Birkie

  • I don’t have an artificial snow specific ski

  • My lungs don’t function at -4F like they used to

  • I froze my eyes solid

  • I didn’t pass anyone because I didn’t want to be rude

  • I’m only half Norwegian

  • There were 400 kids on the trail when I raced


The Trailhead at The Loppet Foundation buzzing with kids!


West

  • I am sunburnt

  • Altitude affects me worse than everyone else

  • Dry air affects me worse than everyone else

  • I trained for 300 hours at 250 AQI this summer

  • I don’t have a scenic, firm corduroy specific ski

  • I don’t have a forest fire specific ski

  • Someone said “I’m so much better than you” and I believed them

  • Someone said “I’m the best skier on this mountain” and I believed them

  • I was 27th in the race but the 1st American, at least


Sun Valley, ID doing its thing


Alaska

  • There was a moose in my way

  • I have Kincaid-jet-fuel-induced asthma

  • I only managed to train 1,400 hours this year

  • I didn’t get on snow until October

  • I don’t have a northern lights specific ski

  • I’m vitamin D deficient

  • I'm more of a "50°N latitude or below" type of skier

  • An 8-year-old Winter Star passed me so I gave up

  • An 80-year-old APUer passed me so I gave up


Moose trailside nap



Scandinavia

  • I didn’t start seriously training until I was 7

  • I was Olympic gold medalist caliber when I was 15 but so was everyone else so I thought I was bad and retired


Happy Tuesday.


-Love, Renae


Sjusjøen, Norway





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4 Comments


Guest
Dec 11, 2023

"My lungs don’t function at -4F like they used to", I have said this just a few times but its a good one.

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todd
Nov 29, 2023

I have twice the excuse because I am only quarter Norwegian.

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Gowtham (G)
Gowtham (G)
Nov 29, 2023

Personally, I like the "I am only half Norwegian" and I'll need to somehow modify it to indicate the small number of Norwegian Brown Cheese blocks and bars of Norwegian Milk Chocolates I have eaten so far 🤣

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Gowtham (G)
Gowtham (G)
Nov 29, 2023

I froze my eyes solid (Midwest) happened to one of my mentors during the Noque not that long ago!

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